Searching for Google’s China Policy

Whoa! Did you ever “write a mouthful”! How true, how true. Even moms know that if you don’t follow though you are considered weak and the “kids” win. In this case China is the “kid” and is no dummy. They are a very intelligent group of people, and most are very good people. However they have been raised with a different standard of behavior than we have here in the USA. I have worked with some very nice people who were raised in China and they are very good at getting their own way. Google saying one thing and then not acting upon their decision is only showing weakness to the Chinese. Google will pay a big price for failure to follow through. Believe me, I know.

Would any sane person of the American persuasion (or anyone else for that matter), much less someone making elephant bucks from a lucrative global deal, mess with the Chinese?

(If you’ve read some of my more salient prose in the past, I feel a good rant coming on, so you’ve been warned; forewarned is forearmed… so take your best shot! Or just walk away clean, no hurt feelings, and we’ll just be friends, ‘kay?; Jerry Butler: “Make it easy on yourself…” We rejoin — the “editorial” we, as I am not the Queen of England or anyone else — the rant du jour, already in progress. We were talking about messing with the Chinese, a real no-brainer…) 

I mean, tell ’em, “Hey, bug off, you toads. I’m an American, and I have rights, so I’m taking my highly-​valuable technology and going home. You can’t do nothin’ to ME! I have my RIGHTS!!!” 

Meet Mr Insane Asylum. Come on in. Take your shoes off. Set a spell. Just relax… the drugs will take effect very shortly…

(Okay, yes, you can say something resembling the response above… but only in America, because no one else would take you seriously for the obvious reason. In China? THAT’S a different story, hoss!

China owns enough of our debt to shut us down anytime they please. Sure, it would make a big dent in their foreign trade numbers, but I think that the Chinese gov’t has enough money, gold/​other precious metals, foreign currencies (not to mention the nuclear capabilities to guard all this bling), etc, to live long and prosper. 

They might have to “thin the herd” a bit, but according to my preferred conspiracy theory, this is the plan, anyway, except on a global scale. Just too many of us annoying humans around. The intellectually and morally superior (this is the collective liberal delusion, but I try to humor ’em, since you can’t have a rational debate with ’em since generally they are neither way intelligent nor very moral; take Nancy Pelosi…please!) just want to be alone with their “pets,” treating them as equals so that Rover or Shoogerschmoozybabe (remember: friends and/​or husbands don’t let women name pets; if you wouldn’t stand in front of your home or cardboard box and holler this name loudly to get your pooch to come, don’t lay it on a dog; if you have a great dog, you have to work to deserve such a gift; cats? Kitty Cat, Kit-​kit, pretty much anything with “kit” in it will do; really: cats don’t give a toss for you, so name ’em what you will, but something you can remember, eg, has “kit” in it; duh!) doesn’t hire a lawyer and sue his/​her “owner.” Well, they don’t want to be bothered with children, so just drop by Planned Parenthood on their way to buy a chimp, which is the same as having a baby, except less maintenance, so more cost effective. Ah, the good life. Seems really intelligent and moral, doesn’t it? Hey, this is water-​cooler schmoozing at the White House! (There’s at least someone there who believes in everything that I’ve said. I might get a bit over the top at times, but I try to get my facts straight, noting my “theories” for what they are: conjecture.)

Let’s just pretend for a second that the Chinese are the proverbial 800-​lb gorilla making the decision as to where it would like to sleep. (If anyone has any problem whatsoever with such a pretense, can I come visit you in the fantasy world where you live? I want a pony… and chocolate cake for every meal! I like my pony medium rare, if you please. And even if you don’t please. A Siamese pony…medium rare? Purrfect! If anyone actually reads this and gets it, may God bless you and have a wonderful day!)

Does Google have the *capability* to get out of China without leaving their proprietary tech behind? Something that the Chinese could simply rename Goo-​fu or whatever, have their own computer experts program it such that it censors anything the gov’t wants it to, while life goes on? Within the realm of possibility, c’est no? Certainly not without…

»In January, Google and other large companies [the reader assumes these are American co’s… or at least not Chinese] suffered a major cyber attack apparently originating in China.

»“Further investigation in the weeks since then has tended to confirm that the Chinese government sponsored the attack” [“In Google’s case” (on) “the Gmail accounts of Chinese human rights activists.”]

Whoa! They can even do THAT? Hey, I’m bad, largely anonymous, and I wanna open up a can of whup-​ass on THESE guys! Just gimme a chainsaw and a plane trip to China, and I’ll solve this problem in no time. (Apologies to Joe Walsh, who promised to do this same thing — in a published letter to Rolling Stone mag — during the Iran hostage situation back when Jimmuh Cootuh wuz duh prez.)

What if Google decided to do exactly what you propose here, ie, get tough with the Chinese (who might well respond by adding even more poison to their exports to America?) What if Chinese gov’t agencies sent people to basically reply, “No, you’re not going to do any such thing. YOU may leave and live at our pleasure, but if we want you dead, you’re toast, Meestuh Peeg Stuff Googuh puh-​son!” (Sorry, but that concluding honorific pretty much depletes my knowledge of Chinese, Mandarin or otherwise. I can do Southern redneck, but Chinese colloquial writing is beyond my ken. Hey, Mrs McGirt! She was my English teacher during my senior year in high school. I paid attention to the 20 vocabulary words we had every week. She’s probably up there in that classroom in the sky where real education still takes place. She was no spring chicken even back then, and it’s been a while. When I was late for class, I would compliment her before she had a chance to fuss at me: “Why, Mrs McGirt! Have YOU been to the beauty parlor?” At this point, she was mine. Yes, our relationship was based on a lie, but sometimes… well, we’ll always have high school.)

Okay, we were getting tough on the Chinese, but they were having none of it. Our story continues:

Well, we could possibly go nuclear on ’em. I mean, assuming that we live in an alternative universe where Obama is actually a pro-​American patriot who really supports and defends the Constitution and traditional American values (as opposed to the huge disappointment that he is in our universe). Okay, THAT’S not gonna happen, so let’s assume that we pass on the nuclear thing.

So what if the Chinese take the “Just say no” strategy?

What would your response to this be?

GFY?

(Okay, Dick Cheney can get away with this, but that’s because he’s a way-​cool dude, I don’t care what anybody says. Straight up. I mean, don’t YOU thank a merciful God that while W was duh prez, we had a grown-​up in the White House? I do. I’m not saying that Karl Rove is a little bit light in the loafers, but he does seem to squish when he walks. (This is why he’s always seated at the beginning of press interviews: so you can’t hear the squish sound as he walks up to the table.) I wish Cheney were president right now! This guy ran the biggest, baddest co in the world that could go anywhere in the world anytime and do anything (which is why Clinton used Haliburton when it wasn’t even on the list of approved co’s for such big deal missions, while Bush simply couldn’t catch a break and got blasted for using the same company that Clinton did… when they WERE on the approved list… and the second choice was a French co [ewww…];J’accuse! is there no justice?), (okay, moving on from the great and wonderful Dick Cheney to our current proble…err, prez… if not of Kenya; we’re walking, we’re walking) while Obama did whut (yeah: WHUT)? Spent a couple of years (well, 18 months, but let’s cut the First Dude some slack: time added for bad behavior) as a community organizer, ie, negotiating on behalf of public housing residents to get Chi-​town machine pols to head a couple of plumbers their way… at which he was successful until the heat was off, then the plumbing bucks dried up, whereupon Obama copped out and went for the big bucks that he would now deny everyone else (except his socialist and/​or union cronies)? What a joke! This guy couldn’t manage a fast food franchise! However, I must admit: he DID get those plumbers for a while, which is something, at least, if not quite like running the biggest and baddest co in the world.

Okay, some will think that I am not taking Obama seriously, but ‘fess up: Wouldn’t YOU love to see Cheney square off in the ring with Obama, no shirts, no gloves, then kick his skinny little arse? Of course you would! So would Michelle, who would be taping it! And if you deny it, let’s go to South Carolina’s malevolence of eloquence, Rep Joe Wilson: “You lie!” (Really: Cheney vs Obama, no shirts-​no shoes…Pay-per-view LIVE: $99.95; this alone would pay for half of the deficit. The re-​broadcast revenues alone would make it viable. PLUS… thousands of jobs would be created or saved to boot!)

“GFY” was, of course, something of an homage to Vice President Cheney (and this excellent advice was given to a truly deserving mutant ninja turtle, Sen Patrick “Leaky” Leahy, whose leak to the press got a couple of guys killed while they were cooperating with America over in Egypt, as I recall; I phart in his general direction) who (Cheney, not Leaky) could kick yer arse around the block while having a heart attack, stop for a shot of whiskey (straight, no chaser), then whistle up a cab and head to a hospital, probably taking a stop by whatever locker room showers Rahm E. Manual was nakedly arm-​twisting someone into doing something unethical and/​or illegal, grab this profanity-​spouting miscreant by the sack and tossing him over his shoulder, while retaining the sack in his hand. Rahm’s one true weakness: he can’t give you the bird with both hands and get it right. He makes up for it by using the mofo term three times in every sentence, unless he’s in public, where he holds it down to two. (Sexually-​based comment re Rahm and his potential attractiveness to certain males deleted by us… and yes, that’s the “editorial” us.) 

BTW, “Even moms”? This is insulting to moms and people who have moms, say, me (c’est moi?), for example. I think I’ve insulted just about everyone else. If anyone else has not been appropriately offended, please post a note, and I’ll get back to you with your fair share of abuse. Until then: Smell the glove.

Okay, you’re dismissed. EXCEPT for Mrs McGirt. She can hang for a while…

How do I love thee? Let me count the references… (That would be above, for those of you who simply refuse to leave.)

What I find so interstenig is you could never find this anywhere else.