Tea Parties Still Going Strong

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The U.S. House of Representatives just passed a hulking health care bill bulging with burdensome new taxes and mandates. We can probably thank many well-attended Tea Party protests around the country that the vote was as narrow as it was, 220 – 215, mostly along party lines. Now it goes, weakly, to the Senate.

The New York Times says the legislation “would require most Americans to obtain health insurance or face penalties — an approach Republicans compared to government oppression.” Gee, I hope Republicans said such laws would be an example of oppression, not merely sorta like oppression.

All but one Republican and 39 Democrats voted No to the monstrosity. Maybe a few Democrats get the message that taxpayers are mad as heck and aren’t going to take it any more.

I like how the Cincinnati Tea Party activists are delivering this message. According to a participant’s report at InstaPundit, the group recently “organized an unprecedented four-day ‘We Surround Him’ demonstration” to show one Ohio congressman their commitment to liberty. For the first few days, the protestors strategically surrounded Congressman Steve Driehaus’s district to convey their message to voters.

Then they surrounded the congressman himself, stationing themselves around his office building. The protesters invited Driehaus to address them on the health care question, but he couldn’t be bothered. Perhaps he can be compared to a dead duck.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.

Don’t read this one: it will make you go blind and cause brain damage where a brain is present. No brain? No problem! Already blind? Well, you’ll simply have to get someone to read this to you, then you TOO (U2) can be offended. I don’t care if U2 is offended. Bono is such a pretentious has been who used to be, but now he’s just rich and walls fans out of concerts if they sell out. They sold out. The concert, too.

Ignoring the warning, I see…

My dem rep in DC voted no on Healthcare: Jason Goes to DC (Part 18 in a series), except this is his first term, so guess what’s on the line? (Hint: accessorizes well with toilet paper now and again)

I called my district rep last Thursday according to our double-top-secret plan (the GOP, all closeted RINOs: you can get ANYTHING by these clowns!), so my burden was lightened when my dem rep’s receptionist told me that he “says” he was going to vote no. [Pardon the change in tenses, but she said, “He says,” while the vote has already been perpetrated. Kind’a like a crime…actually, exactly like a crime, but on a much bigger scale, while not as bad as an apocalypse. Shhh! This would mean Obama is the Anti-you know who! But don’t worry: Joe Biden has the IQ of a used piece of gum on the underside of a table top (which does sound like a contradiction in terms: top vs underside), so he wouldn’t fit in on a major undertaking such as THE apocalypse. But if HE ever gets to the Oval Office, we’ll know to whom he sold HIS soul! Actually, that’s grammatically correct. Reads kind’a stilted, though, don’t it?] At any rate…

Then, still chillin’ because I had done my patriotic duty (using Skype, so it was practically a free call), I read (online, just about the only place to get real news that even Fox News doesn’t report…but we still get to decide) that the house dem “no” votes were basically auctioned off! The redder the state, the better chance of coming across as an American by getting a pass on voting for this Marxist police state nightmare.

If you’re a black man and protest Obama’s overthrow of the US government, but have the bad fortune to find yourself in front of a SEIU thug’s fists, BE INSURED. Thugs beating people up is an amendment to the bill…or I’m pretty sure it’ll go into one of the “fill in the blanks after passage” places in this swiss cheese of a bill. Okay, so it’s not the greatest logical argument, but it’s very persuasive. Then again, it’s tough to talk back with your teeth stuck in your throat, huh? The police thought it was so amusing that they just let it slide. Maybe they didn’t have their “bullet” like Barney Fife. These weren’t PIGS. They were piglets.

[Pro writers: note that “insure” is to buy insurance on something, perhaps a body part that you sit on; don’t leave home without it. To “ensure” is to “make sure of” something, eg, we pray that the Senate will “ensure” the Healthcare bill dies a quick and painful death. Unless you’re a communist, then you can use non-words such as “alot.” Or even change the meanings of words! Decimate used to mean to destroy one out of ten, but then everyone decided it was too cool a word for just a 10% return, so they turned it into destroying 9 out of 10, for a 90% return. Of course, Roman soldiers in days of old preferred the 1 in 10 thing because they couldn’t buy stocks — “salary” comes from the word “salt,” which is what THEY were paid…and your broker, online or not, is NOT going to take salt; trust me: I may lie to you, but not intentionally…and certainly not for SALT!; then again for 90% of the action…]

Meanwhile, back at the SEIU torture chamber, er, Boardroom, famed body builder/steroid poster child turned American citizen turned world-wide star turned California governor turned wimped out RINO girly-man Arnold Schwarzenegger is telling the assembled thugs a thing or two about delivery:

WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. WE ARE AN OBAMA CHANGE YOU *WILL* BELIEVE IN… OR ELSE! IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S “GOOD” FOR YOU…WE WON’T HAVE TO BEAT YOU UP… UNLESS WE WANT TO! DON’T MAKE ME COME BOCK OR… I’LL BE BOCK!

This threat was not paid for by BH Obama. He and his family won’t have to put up with this “insurance.” Much like Congress, in the unlikely event he ever leaves the White House, he and his family will be weighed once a year and get their weight in gold. And Obama won’t have to hide to smoke a cigarette…or even some of that whacky baccy, know whut I mean, Vern?

If he gets a second term (okay, it WILL be a cold day in…), LIVE HUMAN SACRIFICE OF CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN POLITICIANS! Bring the whole family: indoctrinate your children early (they MAY be trapped in the bodies of the wrong gender; this WILL require insurance! Boy, howdy. Talk about annoying teenagers! I think I’ll go annoy one when I get through.)

Secrets REVEALED (trumpets flourish)!!! Tah tah tah (one for each !)

Why Obama won’t present the long form of his birth certificate: they don’t have them on his native planet. However, reading from teleprompters is an accepted practice there. Sadly, literacy isn’t, so they just play tic tac toe. Obama could only come to earth because he had super powers and got tired of tic tac toe. Landing in Kenya, he immediately realized: I came all this way for THIS? So he ran (at super speed) ACROSS the surface of the water until he got to Hawaii and realized at once that THIS was much better than that island with the Skipper and Gilligan and all the rest (the first season theme song)…and getting through the Panama Canal was a pretty cool super thing to do, huh? He thought so. That’s what HE said! “Cool!”

Gosh, I just HATE it when nobody posts on Mr Jacob’s site! I mean, he keeps his columns brief so it fits your attention span, he uses terms like “heck,” so it’s family-friendly, and his big thing is allowing the public to vote politicians right back OUT of office when they do really stupid, oppressive things. What more could you ask for?

Maybe I’m just early to the party. If you’ve read this far and wish to complain, schlep back up to the top of this and read it again: you were warned! I told you NOT to read it…and you read it, anyway.

Oh, and I wanna give a shout out to anyone who remembers and reveres Buck Owen’s back-up band, the Buckaroos and their instrumental theme song… what was the NAME of that song? Oh, yeah: “Buckaroo.” Really cool song. Then again, Kiss’ “Callin’ Dr Love” (like on the soda commercial) is pretty cool, too. This guy (Gene Simmons in real life; bass player for Kiss in Fortune 500) was born in Israel. If you have Muslim, friends, ix-nay on the iss-Kay tunes, okay?

O’tay, poor ee (Like the Little Rascals or Our Gang or whatever they were billing themselves at the time; it translates as “Word up.”)