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ideological culture

Missing Fathers

Remembering my dad and father-​in-​law, who both passed away several years ago; being with my adult children, and two grandchildren, who were all pretty nice to me; and seeing friends and relatives celebrate their dads — Father’s Day was wonderful.

In the real world, folks know how precious and important fathers are. 

But yesterday morning, I was instead torturing myself with The Washington Post. Adorning the top half and more of the front-​page of the Sunday “Outlook” section was a drawing of a kids’ party with a man delivering the birthday cake while a woman looks on from outside. 

Beneath the artwork, the headline reads: “Fatherhood reimagined.”

Why “reimagined”? 

Well, the paper offered two opinion columns under that banner. One, entitled, “Genetic testing is changing our understanding of who fathers are,” noted that “40 million at-​home DNA tests have been sold, and hundreds of thousands of people … have gotten the news that the man they thought of as Dad is not their genetic father.”

I moved on to the second essay. “I wanted to be a better husband. So I planned my kid’s birthday party,” read the headline, the bad news in the sub-​title: “As a psychologist, I knew men did less ‘mental labor,’ but I didn’t see my own shortcomings.”

I suppose fathers have ample room for improvement, but cannot we celebrate, or merely discuss, even for a day, the positive side of fatherhood? The relentless carping suggests not a penchant for improvement but something approaching an anti-​fatherhood narrative.

Searching The Post for more on “fatherhood reimagined,” the second item is Mychal Denzel Smith’s “The dangerous myth of the ‘missing black father.’” Back in 2017, I addressed Smith’s misguided argument that, essentially, in a super-​charged government-​welfare state, absent dads would not really be missed.

I miss my dad. I’m Paul Jacob.


Note: Thankfully, late in the day, The Post reported, “D.C. motorcade celebrates role of Black fathers on Father’s Day.” Hope!

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Common Sense responsibility

Fatherlessness

Yesterday was Father’s Day; tomorrow, I’ll attend my father’s funeral.

Ample opportunity to reflect on missing Dad … and dads.

My father was two months shy of 85 years. He lived a long, full life with a loving wife of more than 60 years, six children he adored and who felt likewise about him, 13 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.

He started his own small business and achieved his version of the American Dream: to be his own boss.

More than a decade ago, when my pop was fighting through open heart surgery, I wrote in this space that he was, in the words of one of his favorite movies, “the richest man in town.” Sadly, he’s no longer in town.

Except that he still is … in me. And in my kids and their kids.

As an adult, admittedly I haven’t often asked my dad for advice. Why? Because I already know exactly what he would say. I like that. And thankfully that voice remains.

Moons ago, I also acknowledged that I was privileged, but argued “My Privilege Isn’t White.” Instead, my advantages mostly came from growing up in a home with two loving parents.

We Homo sapiens learn by imitating others. Hence the term “role model.”

Nowadays we often hear about poor role models when some spoiled-​brat sports celebrity or narcissistic rock star behaves badly. As a teenager, I had their posters on my wall. But my dad served as my 24/​7 role model.

He still does.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.


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father, father's day, dad, Paul Jacob, role model, illustration, photo

 

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Townhall: Winning the Lottery

This weekend on Townhall​.com — it is Father’s Day!

Winning the lottery

Paul Jacob
June 17, 2012

My dad was trained as an accountant. So, why didn’t he just do the math?

According to the Department of Agriculture, it costs those American families categorized by Uncle Sam as “middle income” a whopping $234,900 to rear a child from birth to age 18. Families with household incomes of less than $59,000 supposedly spend $169,080 per kiddo; wealthier families (those earning more than $102,870 per annum) will fork out $389,670 per heir.

Wow. Mom and Dad had six kids. That’s almost $1.5 million.

Apparently the price tag has been greatly inflated since my parents’ day. Which naturally conjures up the next question: how have my wife and I financed our three?

It gets worse. These sticker shock numbers don’t even include the cost of pre-​natal care, the birth itself or, on the back-​end, putting the youngsters through college. And remember, college costs have increased ten-​fold from when I went to school. Add another $50,000 to $80,000 to child-​rearing if college costs are included … and the student chooses a less expensive university.

Of course, birthing in bulk creates some economy of scale. “Families with three or more children,” the Los Angeles Times reports. “spend 22 percent less on each child than parents with two or fewer.”

Be thankful, of course, that these are government statistics, which must be ingested with a healthy skepticism… (click here for the complete article)

And here are some links to the column in question: