Given everything that has happened over the last several millennia, you can’t be surprised by anything. But still.
I had to check the text of the bill, A06578 in the New York State Assembly, to make sure the stories are accurate. It checks out: some lawmakers really do want to compel aspiring “shampoo assistants” to take 500 hours of training before they suds up your hair. (Apparently, though, you will still be allowed to give yourself a home-shower shampoo, even without training. Maybe future legislation will close this loophole.)
The culpable assemblymen are Carrie Woerner, (518) 455‑5404, and John T. McDonald III, (518) 455‑4474. A companion bill, S8862, is sponsored by co-conspirator State Senator Jen Metzger, (518) 455‑2400.
According to the legislation, certificate holders may shampoo and rinse but not, you know, perform delicate surgical procedures like waxing or placing artificial braids.
One odd thing about the bill is this stipulation: “All shampoo assistant certificates shall expire one year from the date of issuance.” So … every year, shampoo assistants must put in another 500 hours?
On the other hand … come on, man. Think of the risk.
What if the water is too hot and the shampoo assistant is brand-new and hasn’t had the 500 hours training, so she gets burned and burns the head of the customer, or even heats the water on a stove until it boils and then pours it over her own head and the customer’s head?
How would she know not to do that without any training whatsoever?
This is … I’m Paul Jacob.
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