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Fatherlessness

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Yesterday was Father’s Day; tomorrow, I’ll attend my father’s funeral.

Ample opportunity to reflect on missing Dad … and dads.

My father was two months shy of 85 years. He lived a long, full life with a loving wife of more than 60 years, six children he adored and who felt likewise about him, 13 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.

He started his own small business and achieved his version of the American Dream: to be his own boss.

More than a decade ago, when my pop was fighting through open heart surgery, I wrote in this space that he was, in the words of one of his favorite movies, “the richest man in town.” Sadly, he’s no longer in town.

Except that he still is … in me. And in my kids and their kids.

As an adult, admittedly I haven’t often asked my dad for advice. Why? Because I already know exactly what he would say. I like that. And thankfully that voice remains.

Moons ago, I also acknowledged that I was privileged, but argued “My Privilege Isn’t White.” Instead, my advantages mostly came from growing up in a home with two loving parents.

We Homo sapiens learn by imitating others. Hence the term “role model.”

Nowadays we often hear about poor role models when some spoiled-​brat sports celebrity or narcissistic rock star behaves badly. As a teenager, I had their posters on my wall. But my dad served as my 24/​7 role model.

He still does.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.


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father, father's day, dad, Paul Jacob, role model, illustration, photo

 

11 replies on “Fatherlessness”

Beautifully said. Death of loved one is certainly painful. Every time I go through it I struggle but this time has been very difficult. Take Care and I am also glad I have good memories.

My condolences to you and your family, Paul. Your dad sounds like he was a great man. We need more like him in this day and age.

Allow me to extend my condolences. The loss of a parent is always hard. May your memories of him bring you comfort now.

Blessings and sympathy to you and your family, as you grieve the death of your father. Memories are vivid, when certain photos and items within your grasp inspire. May your treasure trove be filled to overflowing, as you gather with family and friends.

So incredibly sad for you & your family. I have been Father-​less for 3 years. I used to fly to FL 3x a year to spend 2 — 3 weeks with him & I talked to him every evening. For months I would find myself looking at the clock & going to call him. Now I wonder what he’d think about Mr. Trump, since he was a life long Republican. 

it stings, it hurts, there’s no words that will make it any better. I am so glad that you had a long, loving relationship with your Dad. I will pray for your sadness to return to joy in his memories. 

Our parents’ generation was certainly incredible role models. I am glad you can still hear his voice. Bless you!

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